One thing that has always been very clear to me is the importance of family. I have not had the types of relationships I have wanted in my family over the years and that is part of what has made putting family at the top of my list. Up until recently it has always been easier to blame others for troubled family relationships because (at least for me) I hate to admit when I am wrong. So after much thought and self searching I decided to attempt to mend a relationship in my life. This was a big and scary decision for me for a few reasons. One, I would have to take responsibility for poor behavior not just in front of other people but really own it in myself. Two, I would have to be open-minded and ask for feedback not just in the moment but take it as part of an ongoing commitment to others. Finally, I would have to be willing to put what is important to others first. I wanted my decision and conversation to be authentic so I didn't tell anyone I was having it which made going through with it that much harder. I caught myself falling into old behavior a few times by trying to find reasons and ways to get out of it. I am happy to say that I was able to stay in my commitment and I completed the conversation. I learned a lot in just a twenty minute phone call more so than I thought I could have. I wish this was something I had done a long time ago and wish that I could have been more eloquent during the conversation. Either way I think that I was heard and there is a really good starting point for a future of respect, understanding and support. I know that life can be complicated and relationships can be hard but one key thing I will take away from today is never underestimating the power a direct, honest and loving conversation can have. I do really appreciate the other person being willing enough to have the conversation because I can't imagine what they must have felt leading up to it. I know their strength and dedication to family is even more than I thought and I have great respect for them through that.
Here is to a new beginning!
No comments:
Post a Comment