Not too long ago Jay and I decided to watch The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It was one of those movies that can really touch you especially if you are or have experienced the things the main characters have. If you have yet to see this movie and are planning on it you may not want to read on (spoiler alert).
I started crying almost immediately because the movie starts in an adoption pre-approval court and here is this completely average couple about to try their best to make their dream of having a child come true. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Jay will make an excellent father. He is hard working, smart, exciting, fun and a myriad of other positive adjectives. The fact that it is my fault we are having such a hard time conceiving and may have no other option but adoption heavies my heart.
When we see the main characters tell the case worker that they want to use the time to talk about Timothy which will in turn explain why they deserve to adopt a baby starting me crying and thinking about what I would even say in that situation. To have to be so transparent with another person who could for any reason decide your future regarding the thing you want the most in life is a very scary idea.
They start their story by telling the case working about the day they find out from their physician they will not be able to have children (after spending all of their money on different conception help). That night at home the husband tries to give his wife and himself closure by imagining and writing down the things and qualities their child would have. After some enjoyment by the wife doing this she has had enough and puts all the scrap paper in a box which they bury in the garden. If you haven't guessed by now I was crying again. Jay and I have done the same thing in the past even going as far as picking out names for a girl and a boy (JayLynn Holland Johnson and James Anthony Johnson respectively). It was at this point that I realized I haven't really gotten closure with our hard times.
We paused the movie to talk about everything at that time. Here is what it came down to. We have an amazing life together that includes many children. Even though they are not our biological children all the children in our life are treated as if they are our own. We have our 19 year old niece Taylor who I couldn't be more proud of. She is currently a student at Oregon State University and has without fail faced may things head on that would cripple others. We have our 17 year old step brother Jake who is not only a killer on lake sports but he is also my RPG buddy. We have our 13 year old nephew Karsten who besides being my lazer tag champ is one of the most respectful kids I have come across. We have our 12 year old cousin Seth who is a walking sports encyclopedia and has such a caring heart that I strive to be like him. Then there is our 12 year old niece Jewel who is my angel princess. She is beautiful, athletic and so energetic. After her is our 11 year old nephew Cameron who I has the sweetest smile and infectious laugh. We have our 10 year old nephew Brandon who is the sweet and shy type with an amazing mind. Don't go anywhere we are not even halfway through the list yet. There is our 10 year old niece Sophia who is already a classic beauty and also so very refined (I sometimes feel she would fit in better at the royal palace than Princess Diana did). Then is our 9 year old niece Lydia an artist with an imagination that can't be beaten. Next comes our 9 year old nephew Max who can make friends with anyone you put in front of him and has the type of smile that can get him out of anything. Our 9 year old step sister Kyra who is always up for going outside to create an adventure and brings the sunshine to any rainy day. Then our 6 year old nephew Carter who can tell a story with just a few words and can make you laugh with just a look. We are getting close to the end but not quite. Next is our 5 year old nephew Shaun. He has such an array of talents that I think he could succeed at anything plus he is insistent on buying me a house, car, jewelry and everything else so that can't be bad. After him comes our 4 year old nephew Seth who has super awesome dance skills and can laugh at anything. Finally comes our 3 year old niece Adelyn. How can I describe the littlest one in our family? Simple she is strong, adventurous, smart and determined.
So as you can see our having a life that involves a child has been fulfilled more times than just the one we had hoped for. If we don't ever get a child to call our own it wouldn't matter much because we have so many we get to enjoy already. I still do want to add one of our own to this list of amazing little people but I will never take the ones I have already for granted. I hope one day I can have even a third of the qualities I have listed above. I love you all and will always be here for you all.
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