My New Life

Oh boy where to start. Had you asked me five years ago what my life would look like today I would have never guessed this. Don't get me wrong I love my life and wouldn't change it for the world I am just surprised  at all the wonderful things that have come to pass.

My Husband

* Always opens doors for me.

* Rubs my feet every night.

* So very handsome.

* Great work ethic and always strives to do better.

* Tells me everyday how beautiful I am even when he knows I won't believe him.

* Isn't afraid to cry during the sad part of the movie.

* Looks up to his little brother and never backs down from a foot race with him.

* Will try anything once.

* Sports fanatic that thinks one day he will turn me into one.

* So romantic and sweet he makes cupid look mean.

* Will turn off the T.V. to play a board game or cook with me.

* Gets up in the middle of the night if I hear a noise even when he is in a deep sleep.

* Dances with me randomly with no music then stops to kiss me after he says "this is my favorite part".

* My parents approve of him, my siblings have fun with him and the nieces and nephews think he is the best uncle in the world.

* Holds my hand while we sleep.

 Work

* A new challenge everyday.

* Designing and executing special events.

* Marketing data analysis.

* Social media strategy execution and analysis.

* Guest facing company newsletter design and execution.

* Budget tracking, reconciliation and assessment.

* Developing relationships internally and externally.

* Sports marketing support.

* Living our mission "Serve With Love" everyday.

Home

* Currently living in an apartment too big for the two of us.

* Love the too big apartment because there is always room for loved ones.

* Addicted to Pintrest for decorating our space.

* There are penguins everywhere (because my husband says they are always dress nice and mate for life).

* Our spare room is decorated for two things play room for the nieces and nephews and man cave for the hubby (wait that's why it works so well it's interchangeable).

* Have a housekeeper that comes in every two weeks to deep clean (and she even leaves chocolates on the pillows).

* We have gone through the crazy pre-approval process and made it (found out it isn't as easy to qualify as one thinks espcially since they have requirements like two years of stable job history).

* Started looking for the perfect starter home for us and that is a job in and of its self (the best one so far is the one in the photo).

* We hope to find the right house before the end of the year (we are not in a rush so it makes it easier).

Family

* Large family full of many personalities.

* Twelve nieces and nephews.

* Brothers and sister galore.

* Parents that are always there when you need them.

* Grandparents that you are thankful you get to spend time with.

* Aunts and Uncles that make the world go round.

* Creating the relationships you want to have and maintaining boundaries for those trying ones.

Friends

* Good quality friends.

* Friends across the nation from Hawaii to Florida, California to Alaska and many more.

* People who will support you through the hard times and party with you during the good.

* People who do not judge, give ultimatums or abandon.

* Take vacations together.

* Have game nights.

* Go to sporting events together.

* Most importantly they grow with you.

School

* Jay and I returned to school.

* Jay made honor roll during his first semester at college.

* Attending every semester (including summer & winter).

* Enjoying how close we are getting to have a degree.

* Study time usually involves a bag of popcorn and a Blazer game.

* We have a well established work history so our degrees will be icing on the cake.

* Ability to pay for school without student loans.

Things to Look Forward to in 2013

* We are trying for a baby and will let everyone know as soon as it happens.

* House warming party for our first purchased home.

* At least two really big vacations with lots of pictures.

* Our two year wedding anniversary and three year together anniversary.

The Hard Parts

* Thinking of the pregnancies I have lost.

* The challenges that bad decisions bring.

* The non-existent relationships with family members who should be close to you.

* Worrying about being the best wife you can be.

* Taking accountability for your actions instead of running away.

* Living on a budget.

* Being a shoulder to lean on for your husband when people treat him poorly.

* Loosing family members too soon and wishing you had just one more chance to tell them how amazing they were.

* Wanting to help friends and family with all their problems but learning when to say no.

* Taking compliments.

* Taking care of you husband when he is sick (they really are big babies).

* Spending time with the older generations and getting as many memories as you can because you don't know how much longer you will have.

* Teaching through actions that playing favorites is wrong because you don't want anyone else to have to experience the pain that you see it causes.

* Getting up and going to work when you just want five more minutes of sleep.

I have to say looking at this life is pretty good. I have a good balance between awesome, regular and bad. I can't wait to see what my life will look like five years from now. No matter what I think it might be like I am sure it will surprise me. Oh and just in case anyone hasn't figured it out by now I love my husband more than anything else, I am proud of the man he is and I am very lucky to have found that person who completes me.

No Thanks I Don't Like Mango

When I was growing up I knew for sure that once I was an adult life would get easier. I knew that I could be anything I wanted, I could eat cake for breakfast and that I would get along with everyone because I wouldn't have parents telling me what to do. Well two out of three isn't bad. Since I have become an adult I have found that life is a bit more difficult especially when it comes to relationships. My family tree has grown as if it gets a constant infusion of Miracle Grow and along with that growth comes many different personalities. So today I as I was discussing both ongoing and new problems with people in my life I was presented with a great new way to deal with them. I was asked if I liked the flavor of mango to which I replied NO. My counterpart asked me if someone presented me with a bowl of mango ice cream would I calmly say "no thank you I don't like mango" or would I scream "how dare you bring me that bowl of mango ice cream"? Naturally I would say "no thank you I don't like mango" only an awful person would have chosen the latter. So then my counterpart then said hold the people I am having a hard time with like a bowl of mango ice cream. That means I can choose to not eat it, not be upset with it for existing and if someone offers it to me I can respectfully say "no thank you I don't like mango". As simple as this concept is it can be very hard to see when you are in the middle of a whirlwind of narcissism, lying and abusive bullying. I am really excited to further fortify our boundaries and have a healthy way to deal with these problematic personalities. So aside from the peace of mind this brings my hubby and I are laying in bed with Puppie practicing "no thank you I don't like mango" and laughing so hard our sides hurt.

The Little Things In Life

2013 is shaping up to be a very busy year and it is only February! There have been so many big things happening in our lives right now that I hardly know where to begin.
The first and most exciting is that we finally got good news from our doctor. As many of you may know we have had some difficulties with pregnancy. We have gone through a lot of heartache, loss and fear. About three weeks ago I went to the doctor for a follow up to our surgery that took place this last July. After my imaging I waited for three hours for the results and when the doctor called I was in the middle of a meeting and couldn't answer the phone. I saw that I had a three minute message which I just knew meant something bad. As I started to listen I started to cry because he was telling me wasn't just that I was better physically, he was giving Jay and I back our hope. I called Jay right away and shared a moment of happy tears (okay there may have been a little bit of happy dancing going on too).
The second big thing that has happened this year is that we have been approved to purchase our first home. Talk about a lot of work! They have so many requirements that I am surprised anyone makes it through the process. Once we put our lives on paper and provided our mortgage broker with all the information (I swear the pile of paperwork was taller than we are) we finally were able to move onto getting a realtor. Tomorrow we are scheduled to look at our first five homes. We are very excited but know that it is going to be a long process to find that perfect home.
The last big thing (that I am going to write about today) is that Jay made the honors list at school. I have always been proud of the man my husband is but he still continues to surpass himself everyday. I will admit that when I was younger and didn't know any better I subscribed to the belief that a woman makes a man or at least helps make him better than he was before her. I know this is not true. The truth is people support each others growth and development. My husbands drive to improve himself inspires me daily and I hope that the things I do give him the same inspiration. For Jay to work full time, spend time with family, treat me like a princess and still find the time to make honors is just amazing.
I know it seems a little strange that the title of this post is the little things when all I am talking about are big things. With all the big things going on I know that the little things can get missed pretty easy. So in order for Jay and I to stay in touch with all the little things in life we have created some great practices.
We have started a game night with our friends and every two weeks we get together, have a pot luck and play a new board game. Everyone has kids but us (for now) so we all have dinner put the kids to bed then it is game time. We have had some pretty wild times with everything from Red Neck Life to a game that required one of the players to write a swear word in ink on his forehead. The best part is that since none of us drink there are no hang overs in the morning. Little thing here - spend quality time with friends.
Another thing we have decided to do is take time to enjoy traveling. Sometimes this means driving a few exits down the road to a place we have never been or actually going on vacation. Right now we are going to be taking a trip to Florida in March. I am excited to see Disney World, Sea World, Miami, the Keys and everything in between. The best part about the trip though is that we get to do it with Nina. She is a huge part of our lives and since we all work together it makes sense but we make a point to spend as much time with her outside of work as possible. She is one of the funniest, kindest and honest people I have had the pleasure of meeting. Little thing here - spend quality time with family.
Finally another thing we have been doing is making sure to give all our nieces and nephews memories for life. Sophia and Lydia's birthday is soon and rather than buy them another toy or clothes we have decided to throw them a party. We are doing a Build-A-Bear party for them and from what I hear they are super excited. Karsten's birthday is coming up too (this happens when you have as many nieces and nephews as we do) and we are throwing him a laser tag party. Oh and two weeks ago I got a suite at the Rose Garden and took 9 of our 12 nieces and nephews to see the monster truck show. I also have to admit that the one niece who lives too far away to do things like this with is the recipient of my online shopping addiction. Anyway little thing here - always support kids having amazing memories.
I will always make sure to stop and smell the roses no matter how big life gets around me. I will always stop to appreciate all the people in our lives because they make it all worth it. I will always stop typing, look up from my computer and tell Jay "I love you and thank you for being part of my life".

I Like Making My Husband Cry

I like making my husband cry. No, I do not have a sadistic nature. Let me explain. My husband has the physique of a brick wall and yes I will admit it is a bit softer now after years of my cooking. In addition, he has the sort of personality that can withstand things most people can't. Most of the time his humor and good nature will deflect hardship. With all of these traits he reminds me of a Baobab tree. The Baobab tree has bark that is fire resistant, it produces edible fruit, can survive droughts, has trunks 30 feet in diameter all while being able to grow nearly 100 feet tall. This is my husband to a tee. So imagine making someone like that cry. I take great pride in the fact that I have made Jay cry at least five times now. The first time I can remember making him cry was the night he proposed to me. He was really scared and had arranged to do it at dinner with my parents but couldn't muster the courage. So when we got back to my house after dinner he got down on one knee in my living room. After I finished crying (and saying yes of course) we talked about the dinner plan. I told him that it wouldn't have mattered where or how he proposed because I was the luckiest woman in the world to have him as my future husband. At that he teared up just a little. The next time was on our wedding day. It started when he saw me walk down the aisle and didn't end until after the ceremony. The third time was when I got to tell  him he got an A and a B in his first semester in college. The fourth time was this past Christmas when I gave him a passport application (it is a long story about Ireland). The last time was today. I am not going to share what it was about because it is a long process and I don't want to jinx it (and no I am not pregnant...yet). Anyway, I love making my husband cry because every time I do it means I am making him just as happy in that moment as he makes me every second of every day.

The Ambush!

I was waiting at home for Jay to get home from school when a great idea hit me...AMBUSH THE HUSBAND!

So I prepared the house by turning off all the lights and opening all closets and doors. I taped a note on the front door that read "Look down when you enter the house." When he did this is what he found.

The note read as follows:

Dear Husband,

This is your. I have one just like it. Do not turn on the lights. You will be under attack starting...now.

Love,

Your Wife

He had a few seconds to figure out how our penguin foam guns worked before I came out shooting. The game lasted a good two minutes before I won. Jay sneaked into our guest room and tried to throw me off by coming out low. I was prepared for that and got him right between the eyes. If you look close enough you can see Puppies foot as she came over to console him.

I have only two things to say. One, always be prepared for the unexpected. Two, I LOVE being married!

Year in Review: 2012

2012 much like other years seemed over in a flash. I can't sit here and tell you that everything about it was amazing but I also won't sit here in self pity about the bad parts either. Instead I think my reflection on the past year will encompass the good, the bad and everything in between.

January

This was our first month as a married couple. We had just moved into a new place after a whirlwind of events which included a wedding, a honeymoon and Christmas. I was still healing from my car accident back in November and we spent as much time with friends and family as possible. On the very last day of the month our wedding "thank you" cards finally showed up. All in all it was a month of new things (kind of fitting I think).

New Year's Day Meal

Mt. Hood Trip

Thank You Cards

February

This was a month full of ups and downs not to mention true tests on a new marriage. There were good experiences like being successful at quitting smoking (for a while anyway), treating my hubby to a court side experience at a Blazer game, throwing an amazing and supportive woman a surprise birthday party and taking our niece and cousin to a Timbers game. The downs including both of us coming down with really bad colds and at different times. We did like I mentioned have our first tests on our marriage. We had a lot of learning thrown at us around what we want our lives to look like and what is acceptable behavior both in our relationship and our relationships with others. Looking back at it I would say this was a month of learning and design. 

Nina's Surprise Party

Jays First Mani/Pedi

Blazer Game

Seth & Jewel with Timber Joey

March

This month was at best (or worse) a continuance of the month before. Hubby surprised me with a trip to the Carson Hot Springs to help give me a boost of healing energy before I had to have a biopsy to see if I had cancer starting in my uterus (happy to report that I didn’t and have gotten good reports since). We had a lot of good things happy like my sister Ashley’s birthday, my two nephews came over to sleep in their brand new room at our house, our friends Vince and Katlin had their baby girl, we enjoyed a wonderful birthday dinner with our Aunt Veronica and it even snowed! Of course there were more sports this time a hockey game and a trip to Pullman to watch my brother-in-law play baseball. There was sad stuff too like my brother Henry moving to Hawaii. There also continued to be rough times in our relationships with other people category. 

Carson Hot Springs Dinner

The Boys New Room

Winterhawks Game

Pullman Baseball

Henry's Going Away Party

April

What can I really saw about April. The best thing to say is that it was a month full of eye opening experiences. I think this is where my life took a turn for the better and gave me a good foundation to build upon.

May

There wasn't much to May except healing and building upon the foundation the April brought.

June

This month was spent preparing for what life had in store for us next. A bit of a theme building from the two months before.

July

This is always my favorite month. See this is when my favorite person in the world has his birthday. If you haven’t guessed yet it’s Jay! At the same time this was probably the worst moth of the year. On July 1^st I had to have emergency surgery to fix a ruptured tubal pregnancy. We were about three months along and had no idea. There were a lot of emotions with this and it caused both of us so much grief. A few days after the surgery was Jay’s birthday. It was bitter sweet. To help a bit with the emotional recovery Jay went to visit his dad and play out on the lake. It made my heart feel just a bit better to see a smile return to the face I love so much.

Jay at Newman Lake

Veronica's Birthday

Our Loss

Recovery

August

This was a month of healing. Hubby and I had our two year dating anniversary. I got to spend girl time alone with my sister (a very rare thing indeed), sadly that was the night we lost her father. I got to throw my cousin a super awesome 12^th birthday party. We also got to go visit Jay’s dad for some R&R. I also really liked that trip because I was able to move from acquaintance to friend with a girl I really have grown to admire. 

Two Year Anniversary Dinner

Sister Movie Night

Seth's Birthday Party

 September

Oh my gosh September was just crazy! There was so very much going on. Jay started college for the first time (I am super proud) and I went back to finally get it done with. Broke down and we got a new truck for Jay (boys and their toys I tell you). My super wonderful niece Jewel had her 12^th birthday. We took our cousin Seth to experience the drive-in in a truck. We had an interesting experience with my nephew Shaun hitting on his hairdresser when we took him to go get a haircut (he was only 4). More sports happened (can you see a theme here). Oh and we got to go to a corn maze with Ashley and Justin. Wow I am tired just writing this.

Shaun After His Haircut

At the Pumpkin Patch

Drive-In

New Truck

Family Dinner

Jewel's Birthday

Winterhawks Game

New Couch

Hubby Mowing the Lawn

 October

I love Halloween! Okay that is not the only thing that happened that month but still it’s Halloween! Decorated for Halloween and even dressed up the dog. Oh yeah more sports. My pumpkin won the office pumpkin carving contest (thank you pintrest). I went to the Timber annual awards banquet which was so much fun and really enjoyed spending time with my team from work outside the office. Got to go and see Maya Angelou in person (crossed off the bucket list) with my now mother-in-law Jody (I will tell you about that in the December section).  I got to arrange a fall festival for the elementary school our company volunteers at and had so much fun. Finally I spent my fourth Halloween in a row with my two nephews. One more thing that I didn’t have to write about happened this month. Our friends Shane and Lauren lost their 3 month old daughter. We will never forget the time we got to hold baby Sophie when she was born and will always hold a special place in our hearts for Shane and Lauren.

Puppie Dressing Up

Halloween Decorating

Blazer Game

My Pumpkin

Timbers Award Banquet

Fruit Valley Fall Festival

Maya Angelou

 November

Scorpios this is our month! Let’s just say this about November. On the 1^st was my nephew Seth’s birthday, on the 9^th is my brother-in-law Kyle’s birthday, on the 12^th is mine and my father-in-law Tony’s birthday, on the 17^th is my nephew Shaun’s birthday and on the 19^th is my sister Amie’s birthday. If that isn’t enough let’s just throw in Thanksgiving too. Sadly we lost my brother-in-law Brian at this month. He was a kind person who played a really supportive role with Jay and I. He will be missed but remembered fondly.

Shaun & Seth Birthday

 December

As always crazier than the month before. We did have to endure another tubal pregnancy this month right before our one year wedding anniversary. The good thing was that I didn't have to have surgery to fix this one, instead we were able to do the shot. It hurt both our hearts again but we were able to talk and move through the grief. We have decided to give it one more shot before moving to other options. After that we filled the time with many wonderful things. We took a wedding anniversary trip to Sunriver, trip to Couer D’Alene to visit family, many Christmas celebrations and New Year’s Eve. One more very special thing to add to this month is the marriage of Jay’s dad Tony to Jody. It was an amazing thing to be witness to and we were also lucky enough to take part in it. The wedding ceremony was at sunset on a frozen beach in the middle of a winter wonderland. I saw the love in their eyes as they were saying their vows and couldn't help but lock eyes with my husband to share an unspoken I love you.

CDA Resort Christmas Lights

Drive to Sunriver

Christmas Presents

The Wedding

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson

Invictus Applied

You have injured me

I do not know your intended target

Whether he or I it does not matter

As he is I and I am him

I am choosing a different path

Any time your need causes you to inflict damage upon us

I will use it as a signal to speak of nothing but your kindness, compassion and love

I will gather my strength and place all of my energy into change

For your actions have reminded me of something greater that you have yet to know

Read slowly and take in every word below

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul. 

William Ernest Henley